


A Friend to Trust

by Oliver__Niko



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Coming Out, Crushes, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29756532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver__Niko/pseuds/Oliver__Niko
Summary: After questioning his sexuality for months, Yusuke has finally reached a conclusion about his sexuality. He decides to tell someone else the truth for the first time.
Relationships: Kitagawa Yusuke & Takamaki Ann
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	A Friend to Trust

**Author's Note:**

> I started playing Persona 5 Royal for the first time at the beginning of this year, and wanted to write this fic not long after meeting Yusuke. Finally after reaching towards the end of the game, I'm making it my first fic written for this series! I hope you enjoy.

“You want to speak to me in private?”

Ann speaks these words with a strange sense of wariness in them. Blue eyes peek up at Yusuke, the sleeve of the dress she was browsing slipping out of her hand. Even with this confused expression, she is beautiful and always has been.

It reminds Yusuke why this has all been as confusing as it is.

“It’s not urgent, but it would be greatly appreciated,” he answers. She hums, straightening up with her arms folded. Although he struggles to have a grasp of certain body language, he has spent enough time with Ann to understand that this is typically followed by annoyance.

“This isn’t—you’re not going to do _that,_ are you?”

He hums, head tilted slightly. “What do you mean?”

“Y’know … The kind of confessions that usually happen when a boy asks a girl to speak in private.” When Yusuke continues to stare at her blankly, Ann slowly adds, “Like … romantically?”

“Oh.” He shakes his head instantly. “No, this is not a romantic endeavour. Certainly not with you.”

“Oh, phew.” Ann’s expression grows relieved, although she soon looks at him pointedly again. “ _Hey,_ why that wording? That’s pretty rude, you know.”

“It wasn’t supposed to be, I simply—” Yusuke’s brow furrows, his eyes glancing away from her as all of his thoughts, his worries, seem to sweep back into his mind one by one. “Please, Ann. I am not sure who else I can talk to.”

This seems to melt her expression, softening her as she asks, “Is something wrong? No, wait, not here. We can go grab a bite to eat, if you like? Maybe at the diner we like?”

Yusuke agrees to this instantly; it appears as though dwelling on confusing matters like these ignites hunger in him.

They leave the underground mall, heading to the central street in Shibuya. It’s bustling as always. This truly is the perfect district for watching people walk by, unaware of how inspiring and invigorating their lives are, but even this thought fails to take a hold of his mind. Their voices mesh together into an endless blend of noise, with his own thoughts the loudest of all.

_Am I making the right choice by telling someone about this?_

Even he, after all, is still getting his mind around this. Is he expecting far too much, to tell a friend of this as well? Or is this a normal part of their friendship?

The Phantom Thieves have developed a close bond with one another, strengthened by their shared resolve and how much they protect each other’s lives. Perhaps this can also apply here.

“Ah, good, it’s not too busy,” says Ann as they enter the diner. “Uh, do you have cash, by any chance?”

Yusuke knew his fate before he even opens his wallet. “I’m afraid not.”

She lets out a sigh, although smiles in amusement as she shakes her head. “All right, this one’s on me considering I’m the one who asked you here in the first place. Conversations are better over food, aren’t they?”

“Yes. I quite agree.”

The thought of delicious ramen, in fact, gives him a small bit of hope. Their chatter finds other areas than Yusuke’s thoughts until they receive their food, at which Ann’s expression grows a little more serious.

“Are you really okay?” she asks. “Whatever it is you want to talk about seems to be bothering you a lot.”

“I … I suppose it is. I find it difficult to figure out if that’s the case, however, or if I’m merely afraid of other people’s judgement of me.”

“Judgement of you? Yusuke, you’re pretty weird as it is, you know. And we still adore you.”

He’s quite used to those words—being told he’s unusual, that is. It may be true. In any other situation, this wouldn’t make him feel worse by his troubles. That changes here, when it’s not he himself which is being perceived as unique. “That admittedly frightens me in itself. This … aspect in particular is something that is often deemed as strange.”

“Oh …” Guilt finds Ann’s expression through the fold of her brow and the fade of her smile. “I’m sorry, I was just trying to say that we already like you. Nothing would change that.”

“Thank you. I hope that is the case here.” He looks down at his food, surprisingly uneaten, and swallows. “Ann, I struggle to process what is perceived as … bold behaviour, sometimes. After much reflection, I have come to realise how alarmed you must have been with my first interactions with you.”

With an awkward laugh, Ann strokes a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Like … the whole muse and nude painting thing? Just a bit, Yusuke! You kinda came off as a perv, you know.”

“Which was not my intention in the slightest.” Yusuke eyes find Ann, his mind thinking back to the first memories she granted him. “I was inspired by your appearance. You are simply beautiful, and all I could think was, _this is it!_ I am aware now, of how much you might have been startled by this.”

“That and, uh, the nude part. That was pretty weird.”

Yusuke shakes his head, holding in a sigh. “Nudity is different in the art world. I am not about to say that there will be people out there who take advantage of such a thing, but I was viewing you through an artistic lens, Ann. I never wanted you to model nude for any other reason than to paint something beautiful.”

“I … I see.” Ann flashes him an awkward grin, scooping up noodles into her chopsticks. “I’m still not doing that, mind you!”

“No, no, that is well within your right. I would never wish to pressure you, and I got a little ahead of myself, back then.”

“Oh. Then why bring it up?”

These words bring Yusuke into a silence. He eats his food, realising how strangely tasteless it is compared to normal, with his eyes set on the table. He wishes this could be easier. He wishes he could say all of this in a matter of a sentence or two, and all would be fine. But it’s not that simple. The conversation itself isn’t in the first place, never mind with all of his own complicated emotions around it, and how much he has had to contemplate it all time and time again in his mind.

How he never expected that this would be _him,_ too.

“I wanted to bring this up, because I have come to realise that my actions might have led you to believe I am attracted to you. This is not the case.” He lets out a chuckle, amused despite everything. “Well, not in the sense that most would expect. I find women aesthetically beautiful, and you especially give some kind of radiance that I find exquisite. That is all it is, however. Mere aesthetics and nothing to do with romance.”

“Oh …” Leaning her face into her palm, Ann appears to ponder this with a hum. “It’s a bit confusing, but I think I get it. You think I’m pretty and I’m a good inspiration for your artwork, but you wouldn’t want to date me or anything because of that. Is that it?”

He smiles, a little relief managing to find him even if this is only the tip of the iceberg—it is, at least, the start of Ann understanding him. “Yes! Exactly. I know it might be a little difficult to understand.”

“No, I think it makes more sense the more I think about it. I mean, there are tons of things we find beautiful, right? But that doesn’t mean we’re _attracted_ to those things. So you get like that with me.”

“Mm. That is what I mean.” _Only, it is not you alone,_ he tries to add, but his throat closes up before he has the chance.

Ann’s smile grows, before it appears as though she’s confused again. “Even if I get it, I’m not sure why you’re telling me that. Do you want to clear up everything that happened between us and clarify how you feel about me?”

“To an extent, yes. However …” His movements with his chopsticks falters again, staring down—he cannot meet the eyes which inspire him so. “It is more than this. And that is the part that I am struggling to accept myself, never mind tell another person.”

“I see. Then what … hey, Yusuke.” Her voice grows gentler; she must somehow be able to see the sense of fear on Yusuke’s face. “It’s okay. We’re friends, aren’t we? You can talk to me about anything.”

“I am not quite sure.” For some people, it is their friends, after all, who abandon them. It’s their friends who say they will always be together only to discard them in the end, all because they might not understand.

Deep down, perhaps Yusuke knows that this will not happen to him. There might be misunderstandings, and it might take time for some to understand. He doubts that the friends who have helped keep him alive, and who have received Yusuke’s protection in return, will turn their backs on him for this.

But it is no more than that: a mere doubt. Not concrete evidence that he will not be left alone once again, with no friends other than his paintbrush and a master who betrayed him.

“You can, I promise. We’re all here for each other, and I’m here for you, too.” Ann rests her chin on her hands, beaming up at Yusuke. “I mean, I’m already flattered that you trust me enough to tell me any of this. This doesn’t seem like something you’ve brought up to someone else, is it?”

Slowly, Yusuke shakes his head. “No. You were the first person I could build up the courage to talk to about this.”

“Which _really_ touches me, you know.” She straightens up, her smile as gorgeous and reassuring as ever. “So you can tell me. And I won’t tell a soul, I promise!”

He manages a smile back, even if it falters as he looks down again. His heart races so quickly it pounds in his ears, and he can feel a thin layer of sweat coat his skin—especially at his palms, causing him to close his hands into loose fists before opening them again.

“When I was talking about that aspect of aesthetic attraction,” says Yusuke, his voice quieter, “I … I was not simply talking about you alone. I meant it in regards to women in general.”

Ann blinks once, twice, and says, “Oh.”

It’s a simple response, but something on her face, which he sees as he glances back at her for just a moment, encourages him to continue. “I have spent a long time questioning why the female form, its beauty, entrances me so. I have no desire to touch such a thing in real life, to even do anything romantic with a woman, so why do I feel so _drawn_ to capturing this beauty in my work? It was a question which has bothered me for a long time, ever since I doubted how I felt about you, and I believe it might even contribute to the slump I have found myself in.”

He pauses, needing to inhale a deep breath. He needs to run his eyes over her face, confirm that she is not looking at him with disgust or further confusion, that she has found herself in a situation where she will go back on her words: that she will listen after all.

Even if there is a small amount of puzzlement there, however, she still gives a small nod to urge him to continue. And he does.

“I have come to believe that I am simply fascinated by that beauty and enjoy painting it, and can express a lot within it. For something that took me so long to ponder, the answer is embarrassingly simple, in the end.” He chuckles, despite how he feels such little humour at all.

It takes a little while for her to say, “So … Does that mean you’re gay? Sorry if that’s a bit blunt, it’s just,” she rubs the back of her neck, “I’m wondering if that’s what this leads to, or if you’re just … not attracted to anyone.”

“I considered the latter at first,” he explains. He manages to maintain his eyes on her; her words, even if they _are_ blunt, help him if anything. It gives him a stepping stone towards speaking the truth. “But then I began to think about how I feel towards the appearance of men. How … how it is quite alike to night and day. The way femininity cradles my brush with care, whereas masculinity fills me with passion. A different kind, far more of a fire, and far less able to be captured by what I put on paper. It’s not the aesthetic of men that I find appealing. I might not even wish to paint them in a similar way, but everything else …”

His words trail off, and for once, he fears being too eccentric—he fears speaking far, far too much.

Ann speaks instead, causing his heart to skip a beat with gratitude. “When you mentioned before, about how with women you couldn’t see anything romantic with them and simply appreciated their beauty, it’s the opposite here. Right?”

Yusuke hums, nodding his head. “Exactly. I—I am grateful you understand.”

With a smile, Ann leans back in her chair. “Well, if I’m honest, I _do_ struggle to understand a bit. Gay people and everything, we’re—we’re not exactly taught about that, are we? And the first thing we _do_ hear is mockery and hatred.” Her expression is replaced with something far sadder. “That probably made it harder for you, huh? I’m really sorry, Yusuke.”

“Sorry?” He blinks. “Why are you apologising?”

“Because even _we,_ your own friends, have said really ignorant stuff before! I can only imagine how much that made it harder, and I just … If we made it harder in any way for you to learn about yourself, I’m sorry. And I promise I’m going to do better.” Ann reaches across the table, taking one of Yusuke’s hands between both her own and giving it a squeeze. “I’m going to make up for that and do all I can to learn and support you. I promise! And I totally accept you too, by the way. I mean, nothing has changed about you, right? You’re the same Yusuke now as back then.”

A smile stretches on his face, filled with warmth as he looks down at the hand over is. “Yes. Happier in fact, to be able to accept myself and to also be welcomed so warmly by you. It does truly mean a lot to me, Ann.”

“And you mean a lot to me, which is why I’d never abandon you over something like this.” She lets go of him, finishing the last of her iced tea before she asks, “Are you going to tell the others?”

“I wish to, it might simply take some time. Perhaps starting with Futaba would be best.”

“Mm! Futaba seems like a good option, yeah. Work yourself up, you know?”

“Yes. Especially as …” He shakes his head, feeling warmth creep to his cheeks. “No, I shouldn’t say that.”

“ _What?!_ Come on, look at your face! You can’t lead me on like that and not tell me.” She leans her face in the cup of her hand, giving him a grin. “Do you like someone in the Phantom Thieves?”

“N-no!” She lifts an eyebrow, and he sighs, folding his arms as he looks away. “Perhaps, to some degree, yes. But I am not telling you who it is.”

“Well, Morgana is out, obviously. That makes either Ren or Ryuji. But I won’t pester you for it, don’t worry. Hmm, actually—” She appears thoughtful, tapping her finger against her cheek. “Can people like more than one gender? Because you never know if either would like you back.”

“That’ll never happen. But yes, it’s true that it’s possible.”

“Huh. Maybe even I might—never mind.” Ann shakes her head quickly, before with a scowl, she points to Yusuke’s bowl. “Anyway, hurry up and finish your food before it gets even colder! I didn’t pay for this only for you to waste it, you know.”

“O-oh, right!”

Despite the coolness that has now settled over his dish, the taste has settled back in now a weight has been lifted off his chest. This could not have gone any better, nor could he be any more grateful; he might even say, in fact, that he and Ann are closer than they have ever been before.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you would like to see my art too, as well as gaming related posts, you can find me on Twitter at Oliver__Niko and nikobynight.


End file.
